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Focus and goals

I really struggle with depression and have to be very conscious to keep my thoughts positive and do as much as humanly possible to keep my mood up. With all that said I have some new goals. I have always loved to bike. I have faced several challenges that I have had to overcome to get me back in the saddle. Well now I am itching to go.

My short term goals are some shorter rides, training, and general weightloss. Carrying an extra 150 pounds on a bike is not optimal for me or my bike.

Longer term goal happens at the end of August. I am in the early stages of planning a first tour. That tour would be 300 miles which is pretty short in terms of tour length but I am excited. It would go from Milwaukee, Wi to Muskegon, Mi. I am ready to see lake Michigan.

Goals can be very motivational. I am ready to make this happen.

Day 401 Decisions

My doctor suggested that after some tests that it might be useful to go on prozac to help with some of my pmdd symptoms.  She also change my birth control in hopes of causing things to be more level there.  I have also looked at the side effects and such and have decided to take a different approach and see if it helps.  I have seen studies that show that one hour of exercise daily can be as effective as taking an anti depressant.  So, that’s my choice for now.  I know it will be difficult at times to force myself to do it, but it just seems like a much better solution.  

So, I took an hour long ride today and fixed food for the week.  I am ready to make it a great week.  

Day 400

It has been a challenging last month.  I have been having a difficult time getting motivated and feeling good.  I have finally felt the fog start to clear and I want to start making strides to improve my food intake.  I also did not bike to work the past two weeks and need to get back into that for multiple reasons.  It has been a while since my last post and I want to get back to posting and making positive changes.  

Day 356

Coming up on 1 year into my journey I am not nearly as far as I had hoped I would be at one year, but it’s truly all part of the journey.  I knew with some of issues I would really have to continue working through those things, and moving across the country has really helped me shake things up and learn about myself and have experiences that I could have never hoped for at home.  

Yesterday I decided to undertake another epic bike ride, and I biked 15 miles.  It is such a relaxing experience as well as being physical and fun.  The think I am most amazed about it the fact that I am not sore.  I have some slight muscle tightness, but no actual soreness.  It has truly been a very enjoyable weekend.  I hope to repeat it next weekend.  It has really given me a push to keep riding to work and gaining that strength.  Also, I took some measurements, and I have lost nearly an inch per thigh.  I am ready to see my body continue to melt. 

Day 354 Excuses and Overcoming!

The city that I live in has a bicycle sharing program, and when you subscribe to the program it does not charge your card until you check out your first bike.  So, today while I was near a station I decided to just get the subscription activated, and then while I was there I was like well I have never ridden on of the bikes I wonder how they ride.  So I hopped on, and I was like I should ride along the lake.  Then I started to see some hills, felt the wind, felt some sprinkles and started to make excuses and talk myself out of my ride.  Eventually I was successful and turned around to go back.  That short ride was 2.16 miles.  After that I ran by the bike shop and picked up the wheel I had dropped off.  I realized that there was another bike share station close.  I asked for directions and decided to just do and ride.  I knew I would enjoy it.  It was a heck of a ride for just a whim.  My second ride was 10.14 miles!  This is longer than I have ever ridden.  It really was an amazing ride.  I was just blowing along and truly enjoying myself.  The only thing that could have made it better was if it had actually been warm today.  It was actually pretty chilly with the wind blowing off the lake.  I was very glad to not have talked myself out of such a great ride today.  It was really worth it!  Time to believe in myself, my abilities, and stop making excuses.  

Day 347

It has been an interesting week.  I have been feeling a bit blah about life with shark week approaching (this is an unfortunate part of my monthly cycle).  So, I have been working on finding energy and motivation to keep on keeping on.  I am almost there.  

Today I have been strong, and I have not had a single caffinated beverage!!!  I watched an expose type thing on 60 mins about sugar, and it was what I needed to hear this morning to kind of spur to me be strong about cokes.  I hate when I don’t take care of myself, and there’s really no excuse for being negligent about your health when you know what you should be doing.  Just keep moving forward and striving to make good choices.  

Day 335

The week had it’s ups and downs, but overall my food was better.  I did get a day in biking, but my asthma was terrible the rest of the week.  I ended up driving to save my lungs.  I was not even able to go outside on my breaks.  It was too bad to miss the sunshine.  On a positive note as of Thursday I am the proud owner of a new inhaler, and that has really made a huge difference.  The inhaler I was using was almost 8 months old, and I had been casually puffing on it instead of using it like I should have been.  I am very thankful to have insurance.  

For this week:

I am about to go and make my food for the week, and my goal for the week is to have biked 30 miles.  That means that I if I bike to work every week I will reach my goal or if I bike to work most days and then bike on the weekend I will meet my goal. I need to get past the strong desire to conserve (my) energy and just ride.  I truly do enjoy the trip except the one hill.  

Day 329

Reading Lindsay’s blog I have always seen that goals are important things to work toward.  I have always set weight goals, and those are good goals to have, but they are sort of abstract to me.  Today I set out to work (on my bike) with the goal that I would push as hard as possible to make it up the hellish hill on the way home.  I did not know if I would make it, but I did.  I actually really enjoyed my ride today.  On the way to work I kept thinking of the advice that’s given to new riders on reddit, and that is the ride never gets easier you just pedal faster.  I like that.  As of now my 7 speed bike only goes so fast, and at my skill level I am only comfortable going certain speeds but it inspired me to push harder on my ride to work.  The beginning of my trek to work is a challenge, but the the last half is cake.  Today I was just cruising along and not really pushing that hard.  Then I thought this is my workout as well as my commute, and I could be pushing much harder.  I could beat my commute time.  At that point I decided to push it.  I managed to beat my time from last week by four whole minutes!  It seems at this time having physical goals to meet is what’s really pushing me.  My bike ride home was also a success.  I made it all the way up the hill from hell.  It took a lot of will, but I made it, and improved my return home time by one minute.  

As exciting as all of my physical goals are I was able to keep my focus with my eating.  I really struggle the most there, and today I have won, and I did not even have a single sip of soda.  I hope my chronic heart burn begins to reduce now.  

Day 327

Amazing day.  I am truly enjoying the heat wave here in Wisconsin.  Temps in the 70s are amazing, and I feel alive after the winter.  I have no idea how I am going to make it through a normal Wisconsin winter since this one was considered so mild.  I will just choose to not think about that right now.  Because right now i feel great!  Today I spend 30 minutes walking the dogs and the dog park, spent time cleaning the house, and took a 30 min hilly bike ride.  I felt so powerful for making it up all of the hills.  I read this really amazing article in fitness about the importance of working your legs and making sure that they are very strong, and it really hit home.  I want to be able to make it up the giant hill at the end of my ride on the way home from work.  I am pretty close, but the last 1/3 ish is a bitch!  Part of the issue is getting the airflow to my lungs to keep me from dying.  I might try the other hill this week.  It’s actually longer, but I don’t think the incline is smaller.  

Food was still a struggle today.  I did not make the healthiest choices, but there is an upside.  I ate around 2500 cals so that’s in maintenance to small deficit range.  I did get some fruit and veggies in with my soda and pasta.  The other positive is that I have not had any caffine this evening so I should sleep amazingly after my exercise and working today.  Sleeping well is essential for my mental well being.  Caffine in not part of making sure that I can sleep.  Caffine makes me sleep terribly because it makes my heart race and gives me heart burn that makes me cough.  

Tomorrow is going to be another beautiful day, and i am going to keep making positive choices, and I will hopefully be closer to my goals by my dr appointment on  March 28th.  

Day 325 Success

Today I decided it was the day to start biking to work.  I was nervous about it.  I did not know if I was going to have asthma problems, be able to get up the hills, how long it was going to take to get to work, ect.  I did take a bit of time and enjoy my ride.  There’s no need to push myself until I am dying, but at the same time I also want to get a work out as well.  On top of feeling great and successful after my ride today I did pretty good with my eating.  I did not count calories, but I am pretty confident that I stayed in a good range. I also really enjoyed my ride home.  I had a hard time getting up the last hill, but I have gotten up before and I know that I will get back up it again.  Time to keep making good choices and keep my goals in mind.  I did something else cool today.  I was thinking about goals and regards for hitting those goals, and there are a lot of good things/ mile stones that happen during the journey, and I am ready to hit those.  

Day 323

Getting ready for the next couple of weeks will be my task for tomorrow.  I want to get a healthy meal plan layed out and ready for me to make some good food decisions.  I have my goals set for my doctors appointment, and I want to reach them.  I had my blood pressure checked on Friday, and it was higher than it should have been.  Now that could have been for many reasons, but I don’t want that to happen when I go in for my appointment on the 28th.  The consequences of that would be counter productive to my health goals.  

Today was absolutely beautiful out, and I was very sad to spend it inside for the most part.  My asthma has been terrible with whatever cold I have, and the wind hurt my lungs so bad.  I did bring my bike in to make a few adjustments and to add my lights on my bike.  That means that I am ready to start making the trek to work.  Adding 7.5 miles to my daily workout schedule seems like a great way to burn some cals. 

For some reason I have some anxiety about biking to work, and I am not really sure why.  It’s really silly, and it’s not even far.  It’s less than 4 miles to get there, and it’s not a difficult ride.  I am going to make sure I am over my cold completely and begin to ride to work hopefully by Tuesday or Wednesday.  It would be amazing to reduce my gas expenditures by using a mode of transport that costs very little.  

So, here’s to planning, focus, no excuses, and success starting a new week.  

Day 321

Man it has been a while since I have been active here.  The end of winter always hits me hard, and this one is no exception. I get very down/depressed.  That leads to all sorts of difficulty.  I have not really gained, but I really don’t feel great.  The eating makes me feel bad, and it really just makes the cycle repeat.  The sun is coming out, the temps are rising, and finally I am starting to perk up.  Now it’s time to get over my cold I have and get my eating and exercise back on point.  I have a doctor’s appointment in 20 days, and I would like to make sure I have made some more progress for that.  I have great anxiety over going to the doctor because I know that my weight will be talked about, and I think that doctors don’t really have any clue most of the time.  Most of them have never been in my place.  Either way appointment is coming, and I have a goal for that.  Time to make progress for the next week. 

Day 303

This was a pretty great weekend.  I was able to get in a great walk with the doggies yesterday morning in the sun.   It was pretty wonderful.  My asthma is not acting up, and that’s pretty wonderful.  Friday I also weighed in and I was at 275.  That means I have I have reached 30 pounds lost, and that’s a great feeling.  I have never been this successful.  I have also made sure to begin some weight training.  My eating this weekend has really been a struggle, but it’s just about staying focused and keeping forward momentum.  I want to keep my level of walking up/increasing.  I know it’s really important for feeling good as well as weight reduction.  So, here’s to a new week, and progress.  

Day 299

My work schedule really does not give me too much time to get everything done that I would like to do in a day, and my blog has been suffering because of it.  Yesterday I finally decided that I should buy a scale.  I have not been able to have one in the past because my house had uneven floors, and it would break the scale.  So, I stepped on the scale for the first time in quite a while, and I was very excited with the result.  I am still holding strong at 278.  I know it’s not progress, but with the way I have been eating and feeling recently it’s wonderful!  As a side note I think i could live off egg rolls.  Somehow I just don’t think it’s the most healthy diet.  Anyways, the weather has been better, and I have been willing myself to be more active.  I am ready to be able to use the dog park again, and bike whenever I want.  Those days will come soonish.  I have gotten back on track with my eating starting Saturday, and I am feeling good.  The last two days at work have been treat days, and man it was tough.  There was every kind of good thing to eat, but I was strong, and made it w/o caving and over indulging.  I chose to slightly indulge each day, but that’s fine.  I logged the cals, and it’s all about balance.  There will be days when i chose to have something good. 

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